2/27/2025
Before you say, “I know this already” because you read the title, do your best self a favor and hear me out. Daily, weekly, and monthly, we all experience the peaks and valleys of life. When we’re standing on the mountaintop, gratitude slogans roll off our tongues effortlessly— “I’m so grateful…,” “Thank God I…,” “I’m so appreciative for…,” or “I’m so fortunate because….” But on the flip side, when we find ourselves in the valley, those gratitude chants fade, and complaints take center stage with the microphone. Don’t act like you don’t know what complaining sounds like—I’ll give you a few examples to jog your memory: “I’m not complaining, but…” “I can’t win for losing,” or “Lately, I’ve just been stuck in a rut.” I get it—complaining and listening to it is juicy, exciting, suspenseful, and drama-filled. We all like a splash of drama.
But lucky for us, I’m not here to talk about complaining. I’m speaking on behalf of gratitude!
A few years ago, when I was a strength and conditioning coach at the University of Michigan—GO BLUE! —we often had 6 AM lift groups. I’d go around during warm-ups, checking in with the athletes: “You good?!” or “All is well this morning?!” And inevitably, more than half would follow up with complaints. Now, as a coach, my job is to set the atmosphere and bring the energy. Those who know me know I’m pretty good at it, but starting the morning with complaints? It didn’t help fill the energy bucket. Lesson learned.
So, I decided to change things up. Instead of leading with open-ended questions, I guided their responses toward gratitude by asking, “Tell me something positive?!” The shift was immediate. Energy bucket filling up! The atmosphere changed. The weight room no longer felt like a place of grumbles and groans but of resilience and motivation. Then it hit me—gratitude is dependable! I can’t remember a time in my life when I said I was grateful for something and felt worse afterward. Can you? Or a time in a group setting when I expressed gratitude and someone didn’t follow up with their own gratitude sentiment? Gratitude isn’t just a feeling; it’s contagious, refreshing, inspiring, liberating, and hopeful. It’s no wonder why the weight room atmosphere changed; it was because of the sureness of gratitude.
There’s science behind this. Recent studies highlight just how transformative gratitude can be, not only for individuals but for entire communities. A study published in the Journal of American College Health examined gratitude’s impact on well-being among minority college students pursuing health professions. The findings revealed that gratitude, along with hope and optimism, significantly contributed to their overall mental and emotional resilience, helping them navigate stress and challenges more effectively. Similarly, a meta-analysis published in the International Journal of Applied Positive Psychology reviewed multiple randomized controlled studies and found that expressing gratitude—whether through journaling, verbal appreciation, or written messages—consistently led to improved psychological well-being, increased life satisfaction, and reduced symptoms of anxiety and depression. These studies confirm that gratitude is not only a powerful emotional tool, but it also has measurable, long-term benefits for mental health and personal growth. But, if science, research, or articles are not your thing, biblically gratitude or thanksgiving was mentioned over 400 times. Now, if none of these methods do it for you, just try it for yourself. It’s dependable!
So, here’s my homework for you:
- When life gets rough (in the valleys), find three things to be grateful for and repeat them over and over again.
- Start a conversation with someone by saying, “Tell me something positive,” and observe what happens.
- In a group setting where there seems to be more complaining than productivity, mention what you’re grateful for and see if someone shares an equal gratitude sentiment.
- Tell someone how much you’re grateful for them (e.g., significant other, kids, family, friends, co-workers, pets…).
- Write yourself a thank-you letter! (This one is really cool.)
To conclude, I understand life isn’t always chocolate chip cookies and milk (that’s my thing), and sometimes you need to vent. But when venting turns into a cycle of complaining, pause. Find gratitude. Let it shift the atmosphere, and maybe…just maybe, if you model it enough, it could teach someone else.
Let me know if you find out if gratitude is dependable for you too!
References
Bazargan-Hejazi PhD, S., Dehghan Mba, K., Chou Bs, S., Bailey Mph, S., Baron, M., Assari, M., Marzio, P., Teklehaimanot, M., Kermah, E., Lindstrom, E., Shirazi, M., Lopez, M., & Bazargan, P. (2023). Hope, optimism, gratitude, and wellbeing among health professional minority college students. Journal of American College Health., 71(4), 1125–1133. https://doi.org/10.1080/07448481.2021.1922415
Kirca, A., M. Malouff, J., Meynadier, J., & M Malouff, J. (2023). The Effect of Expressed Gratitude Interventions on Psychological Wellbeing: A Meta-Analysis of Randomised Controlled Studies. International Journal of Applied Positive Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1007/s41042-023-00086-6
